(Just how old guard? Lewis Milestone’s previous version won Best Picture and Best Director in 1930.) The breadth of the Academy’s admiration-the movie is tied with Banshees for a second-place nine nominations-makes a triumph in Best International Film seem like a lock, and the movie can’t be counted out in other categories, either. The Academy’s old guard seems to have rallied around Netflix’s adaptation of Erich Maria Remarque’s classic World War I novel. Streaming on Showtime or available for digital purchase. (As past winners go, it makes Birdman look like Spotlight.) Nonetheless, Ke Huy Quan’s return to the limelight decades after his stint as a child actor in movies like The Goonies and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom would provide one of the ceremony’s most emotional moments if he wins Best Supporting Actor as predicted, and the same goes for long-overdue recognition for Best Actress nominee Michelle Yeoh.

With 11 overall nominations, the most of any movie this year, Everything Everywhere automatically becomes the favorite for Best Picture, even if it’s still hard to imagine the Academy going for a movie quite this … wild. Before that, there’s martial arts, hot-dog fingers, and an all-out battle against the IRS. I won’t say the experience turned me off men completely - I think that was already a done deal - but it definitely made me appreciate the wonders of lube.Even when you’re enjoying the process, Oscars catch-up can feel like homework, but Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert’s multiverse-spanning opus is more like recess, a shotgun blast of creativity that narrows to a laser-sharp focus on the bonds of family.

But sometimes when I dredge up this memory I can still feel the force of that massive appendage pressing its way into tender flesh. It didn’t take long once he was finally in, much to my relief. It was exhausting and painful, but he was determined and I was battling “I don’t want to be gay” syndrome so I was patient, despite the agony of having my lady bits spread beyond their expectations. We spent the next 10 minutes simply working on getting the tip in.

After attaining my permission, he whipped out a very long, rock-solid, and extremely girthy penis. My high school boyfriend and I retired early to my tent where we commenced a hot and heavy petting session. We were camping with a large group, tents and horses, down by the Suwannee River in Florida. But my first experience with someone of the opposite sex was with a guy who, to date, has the biggest penis I have ever seen.

As a gay lady, I haven’t seen many penises since I lost my virginity at 17.

Big dicks playing with eother